A Realization Occurred

This past Saturday was extremely cold. The Slapper was back in town and ready to fight. He greeted me when i got off the bus at the farmer's market. "Ah, wind," I said. "My old nemesis. We meet again." He profusely attacked while I bought apples, tomatoes, and some cheese. I tried to ignore him and say, "I LIKE to wrap my scarf around my face and throw money (who knows how much) at the sellers just so i don't have to tediously count it and expose my hands. It's FUN." Finally at the end of my shopping, I was crossing the street at the crazy roundabout(?), aka no man's land. I wish i could draw it for you. This place is like 3 roundabouts within themselves. Picture a target where each path eventually veers off in a different direction while new ones, coming from nowhere, cut right in the middle of it. Anyway, i had gotten a walk-man and had crossed one street but was stopped at the island, waiting to cross a second. I got the walk-man and was crossing, amongst several others, when I hear the earsplitting screech of tires trying to be stopped. In an instant, I stop walking, my heart stops beating, and i turn to the right and see the car, headed right for my face. Luckily, it did stop in time and no one got hit.

My purpose of telling you this tale is not to share my horrific near-death experience, but to describe the realization i had the very next moment. After the car had stopped and we all continued on our way, I yelled at the driver, "You're INSANE!" as I passed by. I then continued to loudly--but to myself--mutter, "...almost gave me a HEART ATTACK!" If i'd had a friend there with me, this story wouldn't be worth telling. But the mere fact that i was talking to no one yet in a volume for all around me to hear struck me, literally rendering my mouth agape: I am one of those crazy people in New York who mumble and grumble to themselves and when you're around them and you're not used to it, you initially think they're saying something to you but then you realize they're not and that they're weird and you should just keep walking and do it fast.

I don't know what do say to this. I don't know how to feel about it. I guess I'm still in shock. I brought up the nasty wind because maybe my being frozen along with almost getting hit by a car induced me to such a crazy-person state. I don't know. But I had to tell you this experience. I had to tell someone. So there it is.