Sketchy Instructions

This is a guest post, taken from an email from my sister Ashley. She got some cheap pots and pans for her wedding and these are the instructions or warning that came with. She keeps this in a book of things that make her happy. I thought it was pretty funny, especially her comments at the bottom. Enjoy. :)

WARNING

1. The products cannot be allowed to be wash on the non-stick surface by metal scourer/other metal cleaning utensil.
2. The prosucts cannot be allowed to operate by metal kitchen untensil for cooking (suggest to be nyloin or wood material).
3. The products cannot be burned/fired without the liquid putting inside of the products over 2 minutes.
4. The products cannot be cleaned up by dish washer machinery.
5. The clean up the products is allowed to clean by water and then using the cloth to dry up.
6. The burning/fire temperature cannot be allowed over 220 degrees Celsius.
7. The bakelite handle cannot be directly fired.

Take special notice of #2, just for the spelling fun, and the wording of #3. What? I also like the incredibly interesting uses of the word “allow,” as if the pots have a mind of their own so they shouldn’t be “allowed” to “operate by metal kitchen untensils,” even though they might want to. I also like how the word “burn” is used all the time, as if that’s how we cook in this country. We burn and fire things. And we may have tried to directly “fire” the bakelite handle...for no reason, if not for the warning. That’s just a funny visual for me, imagining someone holding just the handle directly over the stove. Anyway, good times.