Me vs. the Velociraptor

I could survive for 1 minute, 6 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

More specifically, here's what would happen, were I chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor:

One tactic I would use would be to lay back on the bunk bed and start kicking violently. Because, like the T-Rex, i have scrawny wussy arms but my legs are powerful. Also, my vision is based on movement. Since I am more wiry than a velociraptor (I'm assuming), i feel it would be harder for him to get in-between the beds and he couldn't use his huge hook claw and would only have his jaws. I'd just aim for his face and kick until my leg fell off. (perhaps from when he finally gets it in his jaws and, well, say goodbye to my leg.) If he DID get my leg in his jaws, I would start kicking and punching him in the face and aim for his eyeball. No one can stand getting poked in the eye, extinct or not.

Another tactic would be to grab a bed leg and try to bust it off. I would not have much time for this but if I could break off a piece, it could serve as a weapon. I certainly wouldn't run away from it. We're both chained to the bed. I'm not getting far. I'd have to face him and fight. I would hope to be agile and able to swoop and dodge if he lunged. perhaps if I could fall him somehow, I'd whip my leg up and around in the air and throw the chain around his neck. I'm not too flexible so I might just end up tripping over myself which would result in disaster.

I normally think these blog tests are lame city but i had to take this one. How long would YOU last? And what would be some other good tactics?