Last night I was sitting up in my bed reading a book. I felt something tickle my neck and swatted at it. It was gone. Then i felt it tickle my forehead, brushed it away, then it was gone. Then I felt it go into my EYE. Of course I start basically slapping myself in the face. Glasses & book are tossed to the side (but i totally put the book down face down so I wouldn't lose my page even though I knew a BUG HAD GOTTEN IN MY EYE. That's how important it is to me to not lose my page, I guess). Anyway, repeatedly poking myself in the eye, it's still there. I'm totally grossed out that there's STILL a bug in my eye. Finally i have to go look at it. I get out and walk to the mirror. Sure enough, there it is, a bug, stuck in my eyeball.
Like you would an obstinate rogue eyelash, I seriously had to dig & dig it out. It took way too long. How disgusting is that?! No one wants to see a bug in their eyeball. No one.
So i finally get it out and it's small, looks like a fruit fly but i don't know. Then i start having these visions of bedbugs and i tear open the bedclothes and find nothing but we're all pretty freaked out about bedbugs in these parts. I think it's my new #1 fear. So to have Sean inspect it later (why, i am unsure), I lay the bug carcass onto a stiff white bookmark that is sticking out of another book on my nightstand. I forget to tell Sean about it.
This morning I wake up and get out of bed. I look at my bug carcass to find a spider on it, feasting on my eye bug with eyeball goop on it! SICK. It's just so many gross things all rolled into one. ... one tissue, that is, as I hastily get rid of the ghastly scene and bid everyone a great riddance.
I have two comments.
ReplyDelete1. I was watching that Animal Planet show Monsters Inside Me, and this kid got a fly in his eye and it laid an egg and a maggot started eating his eye. He almost went blind.
2. When I used to rollerblade a lot, I would occasionally skate through swarms of bugs. One day after skating, I woke up in the middle of the night with my eye hurting, and I eventually dug a dead gnat out of there. Yuck.
EWWWWWWWWWWW!
ReplyDelete(but also awesome)
JOEL!!!
ReplyDelete@$()*&@#&@(#*%$@#(*$^(*&!!!!!
Jen that's just sick and wrong. Are we sure it's not Friday the 13th?
ReplyDeleteThe part about your eye is GROSS. The part about the spider is...um... educational? On this eve of new school for everyone but me (sad face) I cannot balk at education.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wish I would have been the first to comment on this, and that I wouldn't have come back to see other's comments. I wouldn't have had to read Joel's comment which made me almost barf.