Handwriting Analysis

When I was in college I took a public speaking class.  It was comical and lame, but sometimes fun and entertaining.  One of our speeches had to be informative, and since I had such a vast pool of knowledge to choose from, obviously I decided to speak on handwriting analysis.  Why? I seriously don't even know.  Did I know anything about it? No I did not. I guess I thought it was interesting, to think that the way we write reflects qualities about ourselves.  But this is sounding too much like astrology. At the time it was sort of meant to be a joke (like all of my speeches), but I guess i still find it kind of interesting, I confess. Wait, you already know this about me.  Why am I behaving so ashamedly? 

At the time I was a very loopy writer. As in, i wrote big loops (and I was kind of loopy).  I'm still sort of that way but I've toned it down a bit probably. I can't even remember what being a loopy writer means. This post is sooo interesting.

What I'm really trying to say is, Sean came home several nights ago and dropped this note in my lap.  Astounded, I gaped at it. Who.. on this green earth.. would HAVE such handwriting? WHO? Surely this woman isn't human.  It seriously has to be an alien, that's the only explanation.  Behold:

 

What is that??? At first I thought he'd presented me with a rubbing of some ancient hieroglyphics but then I slowly, ever so slowly, recognized it as English.

Let's analyze:

Enclosed

are the

weed samples*

Thank you,

Patty Lee

*[EDIT-- wood samples, wood! ha ha. Those o's are RIDICULOUS.] 

It's like some weird poem that i'm forced to explicate in 10th grade honors English.  What the hey, Patty Lee? What the hey.

 The swooping letters are completely out of control.  I mean, I'm all for a flourish but you have to maintain some kind of control because you know chances are good you're going to continue writing the next line down and lest you want the lines to be 5 inches apart, you don't want lines getting in the way of other letters making it hot mess of a note. Right?  Every 3rd grader learns this lesson and perhaps might be a lesson i still have to remind myself, but it's like this lady has not only thrown caution to the wind, she served it on a platter and said, "eat up, mister."   (the wind is male, didn't you know.) 

It makes the flow of the words totally choppy which makes sense when the amount of words per line doesn't exceed two.   I mean, the first word is on its own line. What if I typed this post like that?

Check out the "a" in "are."  Out of control.  The only explanation I can give is she had multiple mini-seizures at random moments when writing this note and instead of taking the time to recuperate or make sure she really was alright, just barreled on through. 

And, the letters are so far apart.    It looks like a cursive font on Word Perfect where the letters don't connect but are still trying to be cursive.

And speaking of loopiness, check out the P and L and the Y.  Good heavens, lady.  Just what are you trying to say here? I wish i could remember my informative speech I gave. 

And then the date? 2011? She's crazy. She's just plain crazy.  I can't tell if I'm triple-irked by this letter, in awe and impressed by or jealous of the gall of this woman, or what.   I'm almost speechless.   Man, I wish I could remember my speech.  Someone look it up and do a proper analysis of this because egads.  E. Gads.

So I guess by "analyze" i mean "criticize."  Sorry Patty.  Seriously though. It's a combo of disbelief and being totally impressed.   I think I need to be more courageous with my handwriting--have it be completely nonsensical.  Keep them wondering.    I think I'm going to write more on this subject in the future... definitely so.  Perhaps I will even, say, give a speech on it.  Oh wait.