Schizo

Julian is going to make me schizo.

Now, see, he's kind of a cautious kid.  Versus kids who rampage about getting into stuff and destroying all in their path, he's not really like that.  He likes to make messes but with new things, things he's not supposed to play with but still wants to, and even things we've never even discussed, he is cautious. He waits a minute. He checks with me.   This makes me laugh when he starts getting into something I don't have any real qualms about, something that hasn't crossed my mind, and when I say "hey julian..." or something, he jumps and retreats as if he totally got caught being super naughty.  It kind of makes me feel like a nazi parent, (do i really prohibit him from so many things? I don't think so...)  but mostly it makes me laugh. And, i admit, occasionally it makes me decide to just prohibit the thing.  What? You think it's bad? Uhh-- yeah! YEAH. it is bad.  Stay away. (swear, not a nazi)

Anyway, like all kids human beings, Julian likes to play with cell phones. He often plays with my phone, and though he always takes off the back which i don't love, i still usually let him play with it. Sometimes not. But mostly yes.   Just now though, he grabbed it off the desk here next to me, looked at me, and handed it to me and i took it, curious as to why he didn't want it.  Just as i was about to say, "here, you can have it..."  he crumpled and hung his head, bursting into heartbroken tears.  I tried to console him, "you can have it! You handed it to me! You handed it to meeeee...."  but no avail.  You wanted it, but you handed it to me. didn't want it?  but then you cried, so now you want it? but you don't want it? but you cried.. so you do? do you like crying? so you wanted to force me to punish you?...aaaahhh.   my brain.  

Schizo.