A Post About Swimming

JEN:  Sean, give me a blog topic I can write about so i can publish something for tomorrow. C'mon.


SEAN:  Good and bad moments in the history of Johnny Depp. 


JEN: What? No! Why??


SEAN:  Kites and why you love them. 


JEN:  I've already done that. 


SEAN:  The sad tale of losing Shark in the tree.


JEN:  Already did that.


Is there nothing left to blog about??


SEAN:  Of course, there are thousands. 


JEN:  Gimme one.


SEAN: A massage chair in a car.


JEN: You want me to talk about a commercial I just saw??


SEAN:  You don't have to set it up that way. 

JEN: What, as if i just thought of it?  i'll just be like, "You know what cars should have? a massage chair."


SEAN: Sure


JEN:  You know, they should put those in cabs.  Because, what regular passenger in a regular car really needs a massage? If anyone needs it, it's the driver.  Except in a cab--who cares about the cab driver. 


SEAN:   So that's where the massage chair should be.


JEN: Yes.


SEAN: Coin operated.


JEN:Yes!


 Although... now that i think about it, that actually sounds really gross.  Nevermind.  This idea went nowhere fast.  Can you give me another topic?


SEAN: Your favorite barnyard animal.


JEN: I hate you. that's a terrible idea.  It's a goat. 


SEAN: How about, swimming in pools vs. swimming in natural bodies of water.


JEN: Ok, something someone would actually want to read about.


SEAN, [tired slurred speech]: It might not start well, but as you get going, you know...  [trails off, distracted by TV]


JEN: What would you want to learn about?


SEAN: I don't know, some of your favorite bodies of water you've swam in.


JEN: I am going to die of boredom right.... now.  


 Ok, I really like to swim. When I swim, I remember that i actually love it a lot.  


SEAN: I overheard _____ saying to _____, "Yeah, i really need to work on my ____ stroke."  [some swimming stroke]  


JEN: Haha, that's funny.


SEAN: I just think it's an insane conversation... like that's something someone really needs to work on--their form doing this specific swim stroke.  


JEN: I have such a headache.  I'm just going to go to bed.   This post is the best thing ever. 


SEAN: What did it turn out to be about?


JEN: I recorded this whole conversation.


SEAN: Oh no! Do i sound unfunny or incompetent? Look, there's a show about perkier boobs.  Look at this--in the info-- "Perkier boobs" [then continues to read the description]


JEN [laughing]: stop it. stop reading, perv.


SEAN: i mean, there's the World's Greatest Bra; that's on in the morning. Every morning, Julian and I flip past it.

JEN: pervs.