The Golden Side of Eight

When Julian was seven almost eight, I mourned the last little trailings of his little kidhood. In my mind, 7 was the end and 8 was a new chapter. And I still think I'm right.  And I thought, I bet it'll be ok, there have got to be good things about the new phase, but I thought it consisted of fart jokes and incessant minecraft stories.  And again, I was right.  

BUT-- something else happened. I don't know what-- I think I'm too scared to say it so I'll just blog it-- I think he...matured? A little? Grew out of some things that were making me {dead, exes for eyes emoji: repeat 3 times}.  But one day I woke up and something was different. Julian was calmer, more patient, less quick to turn into Mt. Saint Julian (a volcano, to be clear). He was chiller, cooler, and with that, smarter, funnier, WITTIER.  The jokes, they were flying and I found myself legit-laughing like I had never legit-laughed before with a kid. I always thought he was funny and weird but now it seems the gap between our mentalities(?) has closed even more. And I'm loving it. To celebrate this blessed, blessed change (praises to the heavens above, amen), I'm going to put in some Julian quotes.  Happy Golden Days of Eight to us all:

• One night he was sitting atop the stairs prepping for bed and needed a cup for his bathroom. Sean was at the foot, trying to toss one up to him and kept just missing the top so the cup would bounce back down the stairs. This happened several times until Julian, sitting quietly observing, finally declared, "My dad, everyone."   I DIED.  Sean even did too. Insults are always allowed in this house if they're good.  I always got the feeling the funnier kids were given certain leeway because adults are secretly delighted. Now I know I'm right. 

• This one was for me. He and I were playing legos and he bent a little person in half and said, 

"Look at this Lego, she's inappropriately mooning you."

I replied, "What does it look like to appropriately moon someone"

Missing no beats he said, "Well, I'll show you!" and proceeded to stand up and pull down his shorts. Once again, I had to allow it because I set myself right up.The beautiful thing was he hadn't even intended for any kind of set-up. He was just lightning fast, and I couldn't be more proud.

• I mentioned sometimes wanting another kitten and he said, "If we had a girl cat that could have kittens, I'd name it something like Sharlene."   I don't know if this totally rando-name was chosen as a cat name or mom name but it's pretty perfect.  

• Julian got sick a few weeks ago and it was a doozy. The worst he's ever had it. He came home one day vigorously ringing the doorbell even though the door was unlocked. I opened it and he bolted in saying, "I need to wash my mouth first."  What in the world? After doing so he said to me, "Well, I guess I'd better start from the beginning."  All of it was so funny to me. I was dying the whole time. Apparently he'd thrown up at school, felt ok, and then walked home where he threw up several more times. Sad! I think he's hit a certain rite of passage with that one.  He then puked the remainder of the afternoon and the next morning.  Total and complete misery.   During times like this, the drama is real (and trauma):

"I'm happy for the people that can't feel pain"

and,

"I feel like the earth is going to rip open and I'm going to get sucked down and shoot straight to the core. I think gravity just increased."   

I believe this was his interpretation of experiencing a fever in addition to all the other horribleness. 

• (I don't know why i'm using bullets this way. It's not working very well) One day we were sitting together chatting and he said,
  
  "Sometimes I get tired of my vision being stuck in these two little circles.  I just want to be OUT in the world. I feel like I have an inner me that is more than my skeleton and bones and body. I guess that's my spirit. But I feel like I'm trapped by something."

Quotes like these are always a little unsettling but at the same time, I can remember feeling things like this. Little existential moments in childhood. So really, very wise.

• This one just makes good sense:

"Any house that's empty is haunted."

This last one is a Sean quote but was so upsetting I thought it needed to be included.  The slight pause in the middle made it particularly jolting. He was in the kitchen cooking and said,

"Sometimes I like coleslaw as much as...ice cream."

Whaa-NO, ew.  That was my reaction too. A little recoiling, minor disgust. It's not that I dislike cole slaw but to have it compared to ice cream..?? Just... just no.  He's out of his mind.  In fact, they must be polar opposites. From now on, if anyone asks me what the opposite of ice cream is, I'll have my answer.